Melinda Armstrong

Whose Dream is This Anyway?

In Uncategorized on May 11, 2010 at 11:05 pm

Lately, the subject of dreaming has come up quite a lot.  Not nighttime dreaming but daytime dreaming; the kind where you actually stare off into the space around you as if you’re looking into the infinite sky.  I’ve come across a couple of nice blogs about this.  And, low and behold, the book we are currently studying at church for the Sunday sermons is entitled, “The Dream Giver.”

How perfect.  Perfect because all of 2010 my dream has been buzzing loudly on the inside.  Yours too, I bet.  I’ve come to some realizations about this type of dreaming that might serve me well, if I remember them, as I choose (or not) to realize my dreams.

It’s interesting to note that if you press people about the things they dream about, you will stumble upon their fears masked as excuses.  Close your eyes and become 7 again.  Or 10 or 16 or whatever age you were when you still allowed yourself to dream.  Open your eyes again and what you might see is the pile of “lacks” stacked up over a lifetime reminding you why you felt you couldn’t be a dreamer.  Look a tiny bit closer and you will discover that it essentially boils down to fear outweighing courage.  We can convince ourselves that all our excuses are valid.  But the truth is, we are afraid.  This is what paralyzes us before we even begin moving towards our dream.  It is what halts us in our tracks.  We are afraid.

Being a mom, a wife, a sister, a worker, a friend, and all the other labels we wrap our personalities in become convenient excuses when we are asked why we do not pursue our dreams.  Hold on a minute, you might be saying.  “I’m too busy buying groceries and answering emails to indulge in dream finding.”  I know, I know.  You are legitimately busy.  Your kids, your spouse, your job and your email have sucked all available life out of you – so much so that you barely have the energy to brush your teeth before passing out across a pile of unfolded laundry at night.  I get that.  Ok, now be 7 again.  Dream again.  Remember that dream?  Good.

Now imagine if every day, amidst the clutter of the rest of life, we chose to pursue our dreams anyway.  Right, kids, hubby, blah, blah, blah….I get that.  Just keep going back to being 7 and reliving the joy of dreaming.  Do this over and over again until you are so compelled to live some part of your dream, you will steal time away from some other energy drain in your life in order to pursue it again.

Are you creative?  An artist?  Me too.  I write.  And I’ve done a piss poor job of it lately.  Why?  Because I don’t have time.  At least that was my excuse.  Now, I have started looking at dreams in a different way.  In my past, I felt that my life was too busy and too filled with more important, urgent matters – like laundry.  And Facebook.  Yes.  Now I’m considering this idea that my dream does not actually belong to me.  When we say that WE have an idea or WE have a dream, what we’re doing is acting as if our ideas are spontaneous firings from within the closed system of our being.  This cannot be true.  If it were true, then we would have every right to take our dreams so personally.  “This is MY dream and I alone must nurture it.”  What egos we have, yes?  I think that you and I should start considering a slightly bigger picture when it comes to pursuing our dreams.

Not to get all spiritual here, but who do you think planted this seed of a dream in you?  Seriously.  Maybe the same “One” that decided you would have brown eyes instead of blue ones and that you would have a size 7 foot instead of a 10.  Before you decide that you don’t have the time or energy to follow your dreams, maybe you should consider why you’re the one with an eye for color, or a voice for singing, or a flare with words.  Remember, you’re 7 and you haven’t talked yourself out of your dream yet.  You’re not 40 and “too old” or “too busy” or “too stuck.”  Try that.  Try letting yourself just fall up into your dream for a moment.  How does that feel?

So, this is what I’m doing.  I’m telling my ego to sit down and shut-up.  I’m reminding myself that my level of self-importance has stopped me from nurturing the dream seed.  I did not give this seed to myself.  It was given to me.  It is the gift.  And, if I am to enjoy it and bring it forth for others to enjoy, then I must nurture it.  Daily.  I must nurture it daily, not for my own self-serving reasons – although it will serve me.  I must nurture it for what it will add to the world.  Whose voices will fill the radios and bookstores?  Whose, if not those that have the dream seed of a voice that inspires others?  Whose minds will create worlds for our kids to learn in if not the ones who have the dream seed of teaching?  Whose hands will build art that makes love to our eyes if not the ones who have the dream seed of an artist?  No, your dream is not at all about you.  YOU are the conduit.  YOU are the one chosen to nurture it to life.  It is not a romantic indulgence.  It is your responsibility to nurture this dream and bring it to life.

Now, I say these things not to put any pressure on you, but to take the pressure off of you. Your dream is not about you.  And, truth be told, you cannot possibly believe that you alone, in a vacuum will be able to bring this dream to fruition.  It will indeed take an army of beings to bring this dream to life.  And they will.

So, now that you’ve indulged me in going back to remember your dreams, how about we take the next step?  Note that I am not telling you to work out all the details of how the dream will manifest.  No, I’m only asking you to do one thing that NURTURES your dream.  It doesn’t have to be ready for it’s public debut.  It needs to roll around inside you a bit longer.  You have to get to know it a little more before it’s ready to be seen by others.  One day, maybe it will catch you off-guard, you will know that it is time.  One day, you will write your blog, or create your business plan, or stand-up and speak.  One day, your dream WILL make its debut.  And on that day you will be nervous.  You will ask yourself what the hell you were thinking.  You will.  On the day your dreams start insisting they be shown in public, you will attempt to bargain with them.  You will.  You will promise them that when the time is right, you will show them off to the rest of the world.  When this happens, remind yourself that it’s only your fears trying to stop you from hurting yourself.  Tell them it’s ok.

You might even have times when you will talk your dreams right back into their seeds.  But they will never fit again.  Once they know what’s possible, your dreams will never let you rest.  They will not sit down and be quiet.  And this is ok.  Dreams must compel us, yes?  They must keep clawing at us from the inside in order for us to get out of their way.  And we will.  So, since we WILL get out of their way eventually, why not do it right now?  This is not easy.  But in order to let our dreams flourish as they want to do, we must first surrender to them.

This should make us feel better.  It makes me feel better.  I know that little old me is smaller than the dream seed that is in me.  I know, now, that that dream seed has within it the power to light me up and help me fulfill my purpose.  And it will if I surrender to it.  Oh, how I love and hate that word: surrender.  Let’s talk about that tomorrow.  For now, I will simply commit to nurturing the dream seed in me.  I think I was 16 when my dream seed first spoke to me.  That was nearly 30 years ago.  What have I been afraid of?  Maybe it is enough for me just to admit that I have been afraid; that I have sabotaged my own dream because my ego got in the way.  “What will they think of me?” is the thing we’ve all wondered when faced with the act of bringing our dreams to fruition.  Now, I actually do not care so much since I know that there will be those who think I’m not very good at what I do at all.  But, I also know that my dream came to me with the possibility of linking up with other people – people who will indeed get it and get me.  I’ve already over-thought my dream when all it wants me to do is surrender to it.  Ok.

I’m 16.  You?

There is a dream seed in you.  Your fear is not bigger than your dream.  The world is waiting on you to nurture this dream, not just for your benefit and pleasure, but for the rest of us.  Try it.  You’ll see.  And report back tomorrow.

Peace & Blessings,

Mimi

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