Melinda Armstrong

Posts Tagged ‘life’

Thinking Out Loud…

In belly dance, career, exercise, fitness, transition, women on October 15, 2010 at 4:17 pm

This is true.  Each and every day, we have countless thoughts that go unspoken. Dozens, maybe hundreds.  I guess it depends on how much time we spend alone each day.  Some of those thoughts are around things we habitually do, say, think, etc.  And some are about things we don’t dare let ourselves speak out loud.  What if something bad happened in our thoughts?  I mean, have you ever just allowed your mind to go someplace you wouldn’t want it to go in real life?  Yes, and then you quickly say, “Erase, erase!!! I don’t mean that!”

What about those other fanciful ideas?  The ones that touch shadows of your wildest dreams.  What about those thoughts?  I have those thoughts.  Probably for as many years as I can imagine I’ve had certain private ideas about the life I wish I had.  In this secret world I danced.  I can remember being a teenager and rocking out in the privacy of my bedroom.  I moved like I was in Flashdance in my imaginary world.  Music has always had a way of transporting me to a place that just feels good.  You too?  At various times in my life I have envied everyone from Debbie Allen to the gym aerobics instructor just because they make moving look like so much fun.  What a life!  These were my secret thoughts.

Then I discovered belly dance at a little dance studio not too far from my house.  Oh YES!  I am a dancer.  Every woman who steps foot into Lotus Dance Studio has an opportunity to feel this calling.  We are dancers, indeed.  I love Lotus.  And my teacher there has been my mentor when it comes to belly dancing.  I adore her.  But, can I tell you, dancing is hard work!  Yes, it is fun.  But there’s a hell of a lot more to it than just moving to the beat.  Today, I have more respect than ever for the discipline of dancing.  Being in that space where I am free to move has allowed me to feel even more free to let my thoughts wander to lovely places.  And that’s when I finally voiced one of my biggest secrets out loud; one that was actually a very real possibility if I let myself go there.

I asked this question first in my mind.  I did.  I googled it, I toyed with it.  And I let it go.  “Naaahhhh, I’m too old for that…I don’t have time for that!”

Then one day my belly dance instructor out of the blue said to me, “Have you ever thought about teaching fitness classes?”

That was weird.  Not weird that she asked, but weird that I had.  It was one of those secret longings that seemed like a distant dream.  To make a sort of short story shorter, I decided to finally listen to that little voice.  My teacher’s and my own inner voice that had been saying, “You know you want to.”

I did want to.  And so here I am, re-inventing my life at 45.  Go figure.  Many people and circumstances have found their way into my world to help facilitate this new life.  It’s the most fun I’ve ever had, and possibly the most work.  But I love it.  And all it took was for me to finally listen to my own secret thoughts, say them out loud and say, “YES!”

~Melinda Armstrong


Voices With Purpose: Meet my new friend and fellow dream diva, Joan Cartwright

In Uncategorized on May 21, 2010 at 6:49 pm

“All the Joy that you can find is waiting in the magic of a dream…..”

~Joan Cartwright, DREAMIN’

This is the line I heard as I sat down to scribble this blog entry.

“Make sure everything you do means peace and joy for you…”

And she sings…

“Don’t stop hoping that happiness will find you….”

And in that moment, I knew…

God, I was meant to meet this woman.  If for no other reason than this moment when her CD (which she kindly gifted to me today when I purchased her beautiful book about her life’s journey) was playing in the background of my taps on the computer keyboard.

I am happy to say that my attitude when I attend networking events is that each person I encounter has a gift for me.  I know that I must study their faces and look into their eyes for the gift.  It might not present itself in the moment when I am with them.  The gift might surface hours (or days or weeks) after the first meeting.  Joan was different.  I knew the moment she stood to talk that there was something magical about her.

This woman has presence.  Not unusual for a Diva Songstress, I know.  However, I believe that if you put her on stage with 100 other Diva Songstresses, she would still stand out.  She is a woman who was placed here to be heard via spoken word, written word, and music.

And she speaks.  She said to me rather matter-of-factly while we chatted in the parking lot after the networking event, “You have nice hair, why don’t you take it out from under all that?” referring to my curly hair weave that saves me from the daily chore of curling my hair after the gym each morning.  “Just cut it off!” she told me – ME, a virtual stranger!  I had to respect her voice.  She is one of those women who will be heard, even if not obeyed.  I confess I contemplated her suggestion for a moment.  I’m not there and I felt sort of bad that I couldn’t just embrace that idea!  Damn, why don’t I just wear a flipping afro?  Black IS beautiful baby, right?  I’m not there.  She punctuated her recommendation by confidently stating that I, too, would be 60 years old some day.  This I took to mean that she believes I will eventually acquiesce and go weaveless and natural and short.  We’ll see.

Joan and I squeezed in a lot of sharing in the few moments we chatted in the parking lot.  We talked about being a musician, about how we treat (or mistreat) our bodies, and the collective mission of all women: mutual empowerment.  It was a rich conversation; one that I pray I have the opportunity to continue.

We all need women like Diva JC in our lives.  Her voice makes our voices stronger.  Everyone has a vision, yes?  Joan reminded me of my dream: to use my voice.  It must be her dream too.  And she lives it.  Standing up and anointing the group with the call to support and encourage other women, especially those who do not have husbands at home to support and encourage them, Joan let her truth out.  Joan dreams out loud.  She does the thing I believe we must all do.  We must take our dreams out of hiding, even if it means stepping gently on our friends’ toes.  But she steps on them with love.  Joan is the perfect kind of bold.  You listen because she is confident in her dream to use her voice.  She has something to say and to sing.  And she sings the reminder to us all…

“Keep on dreamin, cuz only they come true…”

I am Joan! I am!

Peace & Blessings,


Joan Cartwright is a woman with a purpose.

She is the Founder and Executive Director of


Listen to her on Blog Talk Radio at